Quote of the Moment

"Magic comes from what is inside you. It is part of you. You can't weave together a spell you don't believe in." - Jim Butcher

Monday, December 26, 2005

I know what I said...

I said I'd post my Resolution List last week. Well, I did manage to finish drawing it up, but I think I'll wait to post any writing related ones until the 31st or 1st. Makes more sense, anyhow.

Some good news (now anyone who actually reads this will be thinking...is she serious?...is she joking?...she never has anything but bad news to report). We actually got the house! We were finally able to find a reputable insurance comapny to cover us, plus the seller took $1,100 off the price, which is half of what the electrical update was estimated at.

So, since we had a bunch of X-mas and house running around to do last week, all I got done writing-wise was the Resolution List and a little more of that novella. I might just need to accept the fact that with all the house stuff (we are closing on the 9th), I am not going to get the novella done, critiqued, and revised by the deadline for the anthology I want to submit it to. :( I'll try, but I have a lot of packing to do now, among other things. Been cleaning most of the day and this place is still a mess...

Okay, enough from me. Hopefully I'll post again at the end of the week. Happy writing!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Long Overdue

I am definitely long overdue for a blog post. See, after my last post, I was hoping I could come back for my next post with a nice balance of good and bad things. Seventeen days later, I realize, fat chance. So, I am going to complain all I want right now, and the only thing that will stop me is if the power goes out. :p

First, I haven't written anything for two weeks straight. Not good at all, of course - I feel strained not having written (the why will be coming, just be patient). I also haven't submitted any queries, which will not be worked until after the first of the year - boy is X-mas approaching swiftly. As for stories, according to my tracking system, I still have one out there; I received two rejections in the last couple weeks.

Here comes the story of the last three and a half weeks. On Dec. 5, we found out that an offer we put on a house was accepted. Yes, this was great news - yay, we were so excited. I didn;t post because I wanted to be sure everything was going to work out. In hindsight, I should have posted because things have just gone downhill. :( The Saturday after acceptance, we had an inspection of the house. Needs some work, of course, it's an old house. But there are asbestos lined pipes in the basement - not good. We gave the seller the right to cure (she's a nice old lady, and has lived many years in that house), and she was willing to incapsulate it after she got estimates, so we went ahead with getting the loan done and getting insurance (which is needed to secure the loan). No problems with the loan, but then my husband's insurance agent calls back and says they can't cover house insurance because of the old knob and tube wiring in the house (and yes, we have asked around since - no one will cover it). This is the rapid downhill portion. It can cost upwards of 2k to replace. We don't have that kind of money, so we asked the seller to cure. She wanted to talk to her son, and right now it's sounding like she will want us to pay half, which is understandable, but we are stretched at our limits for money and couldn't afford something 1k or more. We knew it would have needed to eventually be updated, but we were not expecting such a big thing right away. In the end, all we've done and stressed over will likely come to nothing and we won't get the house because we can't agree to pay half.

So I have been majorly busy with house stuff, plus the X-mas season. And last Friday was pure hell. Within 2 hours of me waking up I had to call the vet again for sick kitties, hear a nasty grinding noise when I started up my comp, found out about insurance not willing to cover us, and had to talk to my mom about three times (this is a bad thing, trust me). Then later that day my mom calls back and tells me my grandpa fell again and was in the hospital, so the nice (nice is a relative word with my family) planned fish fry with mom and grandparents was spent in the hospital - we actually ate in the waiting room.

So, mostly bad stuff. I'm waiting patiently for the year to turn over so I can put crappy 2005 behind me. Has not been my year, and the last 3 weeks have not been good for my depression. I hope to get a new resolution list typed up for the year sometime this week. I will post most of the writing related ones here when I get the chance. Maybe I'll even do a X-mas post. :) I'm not going anywhere, I'll have time - lol. Just glad we can stay in X-mas weekend this year. It's damn cold out there.

I wish everyone Happy Holidays, and a Blessid Yule! That's about as cheerful as I get right now - heh. ;)

Friday, December 02, 2005

Doldrums

Well, I'm sick of making excuses, so I won't make any. I only got a little over 7k for NaNo and the rough draft of that novella isn't done yet.

It's not that I don't want to write or submit stories/queries. I have that constant tingling in my brain that insists I tell all the stories that have come to mind. It's just I'm somehow stuck in my ability to motivate myself to do anything. Not just writing either. The house is a mess, and I haven't actively looked for a "real job" in a long time. I know I've been bad with everything, allowing things to pile up, and when my husband comes home from work everyday, I'm afraid one day he'll snap on my because I haven't gotten much done for the day.

What is wrong with me? Do I need to see a therapist or something? How did my life get so out of wack? I have also been ignoring things like my spiritual development (I am Wiccan, by the way - *she says and loses at least two readers*), and that isn't a good thing. I have a million questions and I don't have any answers, although I SHOULD be the one with the answers.

I'm sick of blogging every week and complaining about my lack of progress. I'm tired of not ever having much good to say about myself. It burns me out more and more to type of my short comings all the time (it really does hit harder when it's out there in writing).

What am I saying? I don't know. Another question without an answer. Perhaps it's just a warning that I might not post as frequently as I have been? I will always complain, it has been my nature since the day I was bron and yowled at the cold, cruel world, but I need a bit of a balance I think. I'm all lopsided. Maybe I am saying every post should be half good, half bad? Again, I don't know what I'm saying.

Watch for a post down the line. Hopefully I'll have figured some things out by then. :(