People

Warning: Bad language ahead

I think in general, I believe the human race is inherently selfish and greedy. I am not saying I totally lack levels of these two quailities (don't think that). I am just pissed off right now.

Interacting with people most of the time reminds me why I enjoy being a hermit. Playing EQ, you have jerks that kill steal, ninja loot, barge into your camps and push you out because they are fucking cocky and just because they are better geared than you and can kill faster and more efficiently, think it's their right to do as they please.

No, right now EQ isn't what set me off (although if this was last Wednesday and I was typing this, it would have been EQ). It's Critters. And I am seriously wondering why I ever went back. I actually had an offer (a week after my novel was out of the queue) to crit Shepherd, but that's going fine so far. That's not the thorn in my paw. I was doing an RFDR for someone. Going along, sowly getting through it - about 4-5 weeks in. Then I find out the person has another novel in the queue. You are not supposed to have anything else in the queue until all you readers are done with the first one. I was not done.

He claimed ignorance of the rules. And I think, an editor wouldn't buy that - "I'm sorry, I didn't know I shouldn't send my entire novel in single spaced, hand written," wouldn't fly. Ignorant people are a mondo thorn. And this just makes me wonder how many people are sending through more than one thing, getting lots of readers, and taking away readers from people that do follow the rules, like me.

So, I e-mail the head person, as I am now to pissed off to critique this person's work, and I know my anger will be blatant in the crits if I continue. No response. E-mail again. No response. Say, fuck it, and tell the person I will no longer crit it because I was too upset with his actions, and ask nicely if he will give me partial credit for the 25-30k I did crit. And spent a lot of fucking time critiquing. Then I e-mail the head people again, this time through the Help form (which I have used twice before, and twice before never got a response from). The person e-mails me back, said they won't give me credit for anything, if I want credit, I have to talk to the head person at Critters. Which I have. A number of times.

See why I hate the world right now? I spend all that fucking time, and now I am being fucking ignored by the people who run Critters. Is that fair? No way in hell it's fair. The person I was doing the RFDR broke the contract first by breaking the rules - I shouldn't have to slog through 30k more of writing for someone who I don't think deserves it after trying to get more than their share of readers.

What does all this mean? Life is unfair and I hate people. I wish I could just seal myself up in my house for the rest of my life and not deal with anyone. And I wonder why I have social anxiety disorder (undiagnosed, but I'm pretty damn sure that's what it is). Oh, it also means that once my one reader is done, I think I will be saying goodbye to Critters for good. The unresponsiveness I have been getting for the last two weeks is enough frustration, and I don't need it.

I guess I should eat something today...maybe that will make me feel better. Not. I hope everyone else's writing lives aren't as fucked up as mine.