"Ho, ho, ho!"
Nope, not Santa, but Syndago (very dedicated at playing Santa, though).
Yup, it's time for another Fractured Fairies tale! A Very Grinka Christmas is a new novelette that brings together several of the characters we've already seen in past Fractured Fairies stories and brings in a few new ones as well! But even if you haven't read any of the previous stories, you should easily slip into the humor in this holiday tale.
If you want a humorous Christmasy romp to read this holiday season (the fairies trying to burn the apartment down, Grinka forced to use a Christmas elf illusion, and more), then consider picking up a copy of A Very Grinka Christmas. You can find it at all major online retailers: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo Books, and iBooks.
And of course there's an excerpt below, along with the blurb.
Have a happy, fractured holiday everyone!
A boy of at least eight runs up to Syndago and jumps in his lap.
"Oof!" Syndago may be big, but he's sensitive. "Be nice to Santa, little man."
Little Man proceeds to yank on Syndago's beard. "You're not the real Santa, and I'll prove it!"
Surprise, surprise, kid. Syndago glued the beard on. Superglue, even. He's one committed Santa.
The boy tugs harder.
"Carter, cut that out and tell Santa what you want for Christmas." The boy's stalky father sidles up to me, offering a nicotine-stained smile. "Sorry about that. He gets a little overzealous sometimes. Takes after his mom." One corner of his mouth twitches. "There's a reason I divorced her." He winks.
Oh, for the love of immortals. Sadly, he isn't the first one who's hit on me. I mean, I may be in an elf outfit illusion, but it's still my usual hot looking body -- a necessity for my profession. Stripper.
A psychiatrist might say I'm overcompensating with my illusion due to insecurities. I hate psychiatrists more than I hate elves.
But if this obnoxious man knew the truth of what my illusion truly hid, he'd bolt. I'm tempted to let him cop a feel and find out what seashell-covered breasts feel like. The shock on his face would be priceless.
He shoves a business card into my palm. "Call me." His hand lingers on mine far too long.
One of the bulbs in the string of lights above me bursts.
Syndago levels a stern gaze at me as Carter bounces off his lap and pulls his father away. "Grinka, be good."
"Hey, it's only one bulb." I could have blown out the whole set. Or worse.
"They add up. That's nine already today."
"I'm trying. Give me a break -- you know I don't have perfect control." Far from it. "Can we go home yet?"
"Almost. Two or three more kids and our shift is over."
Then I can see what the fairy twits destroyed today. They've been on a revelry bender since the beginning of the month, and it hasn't been pretty.
The holidays will be over soon. Yes, yes. And then they'll go back to their normal level of destructiveness.
I just hope I survive.
A grouchy sea nymph who fancies herself a modern-day Scrooge. Bah humbug.
Grinka's main goal for Christmas: survive without having to celebrate a damned thing. Between playing an elf to her mopey human-sized giant friend's Santa and contending with the fairy siblings' holiday revelries, she's got her work cut out for her. And when some uninvited guests appear on her doorstep, she's forced to face a party of all the people she ran from when she left the Immortal World.
No thanks to that torture! Grinka plots to avoid the party, until she meets a handsome tree nymph who agrees to attend. Maybe, just maybe, this year Grinka will have a Merry Christmas.