Nymphs Need Love Too (Fractured Fairies, 5) - Excerpt

My first new release of 2022 - yay! And it happens to be the fifth installment in my Fractured Fairies series.

Nymphs Need Love Too incorporates Grinka's love life woes, her drama llama teen nymph sister, and a smart speaker that might be too smart for its own good. As always, the fairy brats are mixed up in all of it!

After you enjoy the excerpt below, please consider purchasing yourself an ebook copy at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo Books, Apple Books, Google Play, or Smashwords. Or if you want to look at all the retailer options with one easy click, please go to Books2Read!

And please remember, reviews are much appreciated at any of the retailers and on Goodreads.

Happy reading!

❦

I stomp out of the bedroom to find the fairy siblings flitting over a pyramid-shaped speaker, which is sitting on one of the living room end tables. "What is that?"

Tamor turns around and rolls his eyes. "Hey, Boo. Why is Grinka such a bitch?"

A red light flashes at the top of the pyramid. Then a female voice with sultry tones emanates from the speaker. "I’m sorry, I don’t understand."

"Yeah, me neither." The fairy smirks and scratches his balls.

"Seriously?" I plant my hands on my hips. "You know I hate it when you call me that, and all I did was ask a simple question, so it’s completely unwarranted." Yes, I can always count on these two to piss me off enough to encourage the fireworks.

"Why don’t you ask Boo what she is?" Tamara gestures at the speaker.

Her suggestion puts the breaks on my desire to splatter Tamor into tiny fairy bits... For the moment. Talk to an electronic pyramid? Okay, why not. "Um, hey, Boo. What are you?"

This time the light flashes green. "I am Yam-Boom’s newest, top-of-the-line smart speaker. Over time, I adapt to the household’s specific needs, even adjusting my personality to those I speak with. Please, ask me anything. Just don’t expect me to know everything."

Man, Boo has attitude. Kind of creepy, though.

Tamara claps her tiny hands together. "Isn’t she cool?"

I’m not a huge fan of Yam-Boom. They employ fairies, who prevented me from publishing my novel. Speaking of fairies... "How exactly did you two buy something like this?" Neither have a job, and I no longer keep any spare cash lying around. Last time I did, the fairies stole my hidden stash and bought a tablet, which is now mine. My money, my tablet.

"Uh..." Tamor is never at a loss for words. What gives, now?

Tamara titters and flits up to me. "Remember, Herby? Our cousin who loves wine porn and works for Yam-Boom. Well, he hooked us up. Right, Tamor?"

Her brother’s head bobs, almost as rapidly as his wings.

Eh, I’m not so sure about that explanation. They’re acting shifty. Maybe I can explode the truth out of them.

Before I gear myself up to do just that, Syndago bursts through the front door. "Grinka! I got a job!"

❦

What do you prescribe a depressed sea nymph? A handsome tree nymph, of course.

Grinka can’t stop dreaming of Bello, the hunky tree nymph she met a couple years ago. Unfortunately, sharing her bed with her drama llama teen nymph sister has put a damper on her love life.

Who’s she kidding? Her love life was nonexistent even before she took in her runaway sister. Well, aside from the incident with her goblin ex-boyfriend and his dwarven girlfriend – an event that continues to haunt her in the form of the stalker dwarf.

But Grinka’s not-so-giant giant best friend brings her the gift of Bello’s phone number. Can she summon the courage to call him for a date? And if so, what will her sister and the fairy brats do to ruin it for her this time?

Bytes Bite, And So Do Fairies (Fractured Fairies, 4) - Excerpt

Yes, another release! I've been looking forward to this one. It's almost too fun sometimes to play around with Grinka's life.

Bytes Bite, And So Do Fairies is the fourth published title in my Fractured Fairies series, though you can of course jump in with any story.

Please enjoy the excerpt below. And if you'd like to grab a copy, Bytes Bite is only $0.99 at all major online retailers: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Apple Books, Google Play, Smashwords, and Books2Read (the last will give you retailer options to choose from).

And if you read the entire story, please consider leaving a review at one of the retailers or on Goodreads. Reviews are awesome and helpful and it's one of the best ways to support an author you like. OK, I'll shut up now. Promise.

Happy reading!

❦

Now, I know how hard it is to succeed as a writer. Most indie authors need to crank out titles on a regular basis to earn any kind of money. So I tucked away a good portion of my tips for advertising over the last few months. I want this to work – no, I need this to work.

The thing is, when I started writing this first novel, it also turned into an outlet for some of my anger. And oh man, do I have a lot of anger. Just ask Syndago. My not-so-giant giant friend is rather sick of replacing light bulbs. Hey, I can’t control my destructive powers well, and the fairies piss me off at least every other second.

Speaking of the fairies... it’s far too quiet in the apartment.

And no, they don’t know what I’ve been up to on the computer. At least I hope not.

Unfortunately, they’ve gotten rather tech savvy lately, somehow getting their grubby hands on a tablet. I’m amazed they haven’t broken it yet. Perpetually drunk, naked fairies are rather clumsy.

I check under my desk, then under my bed, and look out the window for good measure again. Nothing. Maybe Syndago took them to the park. They love to harass the real birds in their pigeon illusions.

The circle continues to spin and spin. What’s a sea nymph got to do to get her noir urban fantasy published? I smash the Enter button a few times, to no avail. Actually, the circle appears to spin slower.

Damned computer. It’s been so twitchy lately. I even checked it several times to make sure the fairies hadn’t poured wine in the vents, though they’d be reluctant to waste their precious booze for such a prank.

Maybe I didn’t kill enough fairies in my novel. Yes, I killed a lot of fairies. So cathartic, especially since I can’t kill them in real life. Trust me, I’ve tried a million times by exploding them into honey-colored bits. They’re as immortal as Syndago and me, sadly.

In my novel, though... burn fairies, burn.

I snicker, and the circle freezes. Then the screen turns black for a second, followed by flashing rainbow colors. “What the–?”

Fairy giggles flitter from my closet.

❦

I wonder if this is what a gnome tripping on unicorn hairs feels like.

As usual, Grinka the sea nymph can’t catch a break. She simply wants to publish her novel. Unfortunately, Tamor and Tamara, the two fairy thorns in her side, mess with her computer. Too bad they’re immortal and can’t meet the same demise as the innumerable fairies in her book.

If that isn’t enough of a plague, Grinka’s sister Raina pops in from the Immortal World, bringing the first immortal virus with her. And now, Grinka is quarantined in her room with the two fairy nitwits.

Will she survive to hit publish, or will the rainbows and fairies win?

A Very Grinka Christmas Excerpt

"Ho, ho, ho!"

Nope, not Santa, but Syndago (very dedicated at playing Santa, though).

Yup, it's time for another Fractured Fairies tale! A Very Grinka Christmas is a new novelette that brings together several of the characters we've already seen in past Fractured Fairies stories and brings in a few new ones as well! But even if you haven't read any of the previous stories, you should easily slip into the humor in this holiday tale.

If you want a humorous Christmasy romp to read this holiday season (the fairies trying to burn the apartment down, Grinka forced to use a Christmas elf illusion, and more), then consider picking up a copy of A Very Grinka Christmas. You can find it at all major online retailers: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo Books, and iBooks.

And of course there's an excerpt below, along with the blurb.

Have a happy, fractured holiday everyone!

❦

A boy of at least eight runs up to Syndago and jumps in his lap.

"Oof!" Syndago may be big, but he's sensitive. "Be nice to Santa, little man."

Little Man proceeds to yank on Syndago's beard. "You're not the real Santa, and I'll prove it!"

Surprise, surprise, kid. Syndago glued the beard on. Superglue, even. He's one committed Santa.

The boy tugs harder.

"Ow!"

"Carter, cut that out and tell Santa what you want for Christmas." The boy's stalky father sidles up to me, offering a nicotine-stained smile. "Sorry about that. He gets a little overzealous sometimes. Takes after his mom." One corner of his mouth twitches. "There's a reason I divorced her." He winks.

Oh, for the love of immortals. Sadly, he isn't the first one who's hit on me. I mean, I may be in an elf outfit illusion, but it's still my usual hot looking body -- a necessity for my profession. Stripper.

A psychiatrist might say I'm overcompensating with my illusion due to insecurities. I hate psychiatrists more than I hate elves.

But if this obnoxious man knew the truth of what my illusion truly hid, he'd bolt. I'm tempted to let him cop a feel and find out what seashell-covered breasts feel like. The shock on his face would be priceless.

He shoves a business card into my palm. "Call me." His hand lingers on mine far too long.

One of the bulbs in the string of lights above me bursts.

Syndago levels a stern gaze at me as Carter bounces off his lap and pulls his father away. "Grinka, be good."

"Hey, it's only one bulb." I could have blown out the whole set. Or worse.

"They add up. That's nine already today."

"Cheap lights."

"I'm trying. Give me a break -- you know I don't have perfect control." Far from it. "Can we go home yet?"

"Almost. Two or three more kids and our shift is over."

Then I can see what the fairy twits destroyed today. They've been on a revelry bender since the beginning of the month, and it hasn't been pretty.

The holidays will be over soon. Yes, yes. And then they'll go back to their normal level of destructiveness.

I just hope I survive.

❦

A grouchy sea nymph who fancies herself a modern-day Scrooge. Bah humbug.

Grinka's main goal for Christmas: survive without having to celebrate a damned thing. Between playing an elf to her mopey human-sized giant friend's Santa and contending with the fairy siblings' holiday revelries, she's got her work cut out for her. And when some uninvited guests appear on her doorstep, she's forced to face a party of all the people she ran from when she left the Immortal World.

No thanks to that torture! Grinka plots to avoid the party, until she meets a handsome tree nymph who agrees to attend. Maybe, just maybe, this year Grinka will have a Merry Christmas.

Halloween 2016 & Monster Maelstrom

It's that time of year! Yes, the time of year where I get way too into Halloween. It's my favorite holiday, after all.

Before I get into some pics of this year's costume and decorations, though, I'd also like to announce the release of a Fractured Fairies story. Last week, "Monster in the Room" released in the anthology Monster Maelstrom. It's a Halloween themed flash fiction anthology, of course! This Grinka-centric story can be found among a lot of other great stories. If you're in the mood for some Halloween reading, please pick up a copy. Oh, did I forget to mention the anthology is FREE?

You can snag a free copy of Monster Maelstrom from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo Books, iBooks, Google Play, and Smashwords. Please visit the Monster Maelstrom page if you'd like further information before you grab it.

Now, onto more good stuff! My yearly Halloween party was this past Saturday. No posts on the blog last week meant I was intensely cleaning the house that never gets cleaned except once a year for the party - lol. (I already have #11 for 1001 Reasons Not to Clean.)

This year I had a hard time getting excited about a costume. I just couldn't think of anything I wanted to be. Thankfully, the brainstorm finally unleashed itself when I was browsing Hot Topic online one day. I saw a unicorn horn and tail set. I figured I could always be simple. I mean, I love unicorns - that's no secret. Then I saw it... A blood splattered dress! Why be a plain old unicorn when you can be a Rabid Unicorn?

If any of you have visited my blog throughout the years, you know that I started a rabid unicorn story a couple years ago. It was a fun, humorous romp that I had to put on the back burner (like so many other shinies because there's only so much time in the day to write when you have an infant/toddler demanding your undivided attention). Of course, now I really want to continue it, but I have Thorns Entwine the Blade to focus on right now. If you want to read an excerpt of the rough draft I was working on, you can visit this old post from May 2014.

What? You want to see the costume? I rarely post pictures of myself, as you know. So, please be kind. Here it is! Note: I wear the heads of my fallen foes on my feet.

And I'll also leave you with a some pictures of the decorations from this year. Happy Halloween, everyone!

S.O.L. Air Excerpt

Why yes, it is another release day! It's hard to believe this is the 9th story I've released for my Baker's Dozen Experiment. What a ride.

Well, I started out the experiment with releasing Fractured Fairies, and today we get to read more about Grinka, Syndago, and the fairy brats! The humorous antics continue in S.O.L. Air, which you can now nab from Amazon. As always, this was fun to write. I hope you enjoy it as well! You can find an excerpt below.

And the next Fractured Fairies tale will be coming at the end of November - A Very Grinka Christmas! It'll be longer than the previous stories, but there's plenty of humor to keep things lively. What, you thought I'd stop publishing after the experiment was over? Never! I'll be writing until my body no longer allows it. You're stuck with my stories and characters for a good long time.

Anyway, onto the good stuff!

❦

I take a deep breath as the plane engines rev louder and the flight attendant buckles herself in. Maybe I can jump out of a window. Nope, no way to open this sucker, and someone was smart enough to not seat me in the emergency row. I peer out the window and gulp. Maybe I should have given Syndago the window seat.

I see a flicker of movement to the right, outside the plane, and crane my neck to look closer. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

There on the wing sit the two fairy twits. They wave when they realize I notice them. Guess they’re willing to risk being ground into a sticky pulp so they can make my life more miserable.

“There are pigeons on the wing.” At least my voice is now dry instead of panicky.

“I told you you couldn’t leave them behind.” Syndago frowns. “They deserve a vacation, too.”

“Every day of their lives is a vacation! They drink and drink and drink, and play pranks, and make rude comments, and drive me up a wall, and--” If it weren’t for Syndago insisting we can’t abandon them, the little snots would be living on the street, like proper pigeons, and not with us. The bulb above my head bursts. “And I need a vacation from them.”

“Calm down, Grinka.”

I open my mouth, ready to tick off several reasons why I don’t need to calm down, but the plane lurches forward and fear shoves the anger down my throat.

We’re taking off. No, we can’t. Stop the plane. I need to get off.

“Your mouth is hanging open.” Syndago’s brow wrinkles with worry.

I squeak.

❦

What’s a sea nymph got to do to get a vacation around here?

That whole “life is a journey, not a destination” nonsense doesn’t hold water with Grinka. Especially when she books a flight to Vegas to get away from those two fairy nitwits. She doesn’t quite consider the aquatic ramifications of a sea nymph in the air. Nor does she plan on a chance encounter with her goblin ex-boyfriend, Hrelm. Seriously, what’s it going to take for Grinka to get to Vegas and gamble away her meager savings?

Camp NaNoWriMo - July 2013

Wait, what, you were expecting me to keep to my word on exactly what I intended to blog about today? Maybe I would have if I haven't been dealing with getting my luggage back from the airlines for two days straight. My trip home was hellish. It will be vented in a brand new Grinka and Syndago story.

And...that is the first thing on my list for Camp NaNoWriMo. I'll be getting started a few days later than originally intended, but the goal I've set is 25,000 words. Totally doable. Especially since the morning sickness is pretty much gone and my 5-year-old will be spending a week with my in-laws! After I finish the super rough draft of the new Grinka story, I'll work on the super rough draft of Into the Ash, the first novel in my Elements of Anian series.

Yes, I have revisions to do on Dead As Dreams, but since I haven't touched anything for a few months, I don't want to worry about perfection for a month, and then my gears should be well oiled.

I promise, next post will be about In Your Write Mind. I just need a few days to organize things and figure out what specifics I'll post about. A lot of great workshops (and a lot of fun socializing). =)

Don't forget about Writing Quest - July! Of course my goal this month is simply Camp NaNo.

So, anybody else diving into Camp NaNoWriMo this month? It allows you to key in your own word count goal - no need to aim for the usual 50,000 words!

NEXT UP: July 10 - In Your Write Mind 2013 (I mean it this time)