Doldrums

Well, I'm sick of making excuses, so I won't make any. I only got a little over 7k for NaNo and the rough draft of that novella isn't done yet.

It's not that I don't want to write or submit stories/queries. I have that constant tingling in my brain that insists I tell all the stories that have come to mind. It's just I'm somehow stuck in my ability to motivate myself to do anything. Not just writing either. The house is a mess, and I haven't actively looked for a "real job" in a long time. I know I've been bad with everything, allowing things to pile up, and when my husband comes home from work everyday, I'm afraid one day he'll snap on my because I haven't gotten much done for the day.

What is wrong with me? Do I need to see a therapist or something? How did my life get so out of wack? I have also been ignoring things like my spiritual development (I am Wiccan, by the way - *she says and loses at least two readers*), and that isn't a good thing. I have a million questions and I don't have any answers, although I SHOULD be the one with the answers.

I'm sick of blogging every week and complaining about my lack of progress. I'm tired of not ever having much good to say about myself. It burns me out more and more to type of my short comings all the time (it really does hit harder when it's out there in writing).

What am I saying? I don't know. Another question without an answer. Perhaps it's just a warning that I might not post as frequently as I have been? I will always complain, it has been my nature since the day I was bron and yowled at the cold, cruel world, but I need a bit of a balance I think. I'm all lopsided. Maybe I am saying every post should be half good, half bad? Again, I don't know what I'm saying.

Watch for a post down the line. Hopefully I'll have figured some things out by then. :(