Okay, I'm wearing down quickly. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end. I can't work full-time and write full-time for the rest of my life. My body may only be able to take it for a few more years. But of course everything is circular. To get more time to work on my writing, to be able to submit things and get things published, I need to not have another full-time job. Yet to be able to get away with not having a full-time job, I need to be making some sort of income from my writing. I'm going to scream - Ahhhhhhhhh!

Now that I got that out, damn I still don't feel better. It's a dreary, miserable day outside, my back hurts, and I am so not looking forward to the winter when I seem to be affected by SADs and get super depressed and have absolutely no energy. I need to move to a warmer climate. Wisconsin sucks! How am I going to encourage myself to keep plugging away, to keep up the writing during winter, when that has always been my most unproductive time of the year? Maybe being in the program at Seton Hill will help, I hope. Maybe I need to have my husband stand over me with a whip and make me work (and no matter what some people would think, no that would not be pleasurable for me, I can't speak for my husband though - hehe).

I think I have to get myself in the habit of writing everyday too, and even at short periods (currently I prefer a nice 2 hour chunk to write). I tend to write in spurts, and write a lot in those spurts, and of course that doesn't get me in a pattern, but then again I sometimes hate patterns. Last thing I want is to feel like my husband, who feels like he's stuck in a rut. See, I contradict myself - I can't do both things at once!

Maybe, in a happy, ideal future, this new job my husband got will be lucrative, and then I can actually stay home and write, and not work another full-time job, maybe only have to work part-time. Ideal future - my bad luck dictates that this will not be so anytime soon, until I've brokem my back and possibly my spirit (but I'll tell you, even though I'm pessimistic, it's damn hard to totally snuff out my spirit - I am a Leo after all). Urk.

Okay, I've babbled enough, and I should probably get back to work. :P Happy writing all!