2020, I'm Breaking Up With You

Sorry, 2020, but I'm ending it.

I'd like to say it was a good run, but if I'm being honest, it was painful. Excruciating. Torturous.

I know the grass is always greener saying, but 2021 has a twinkle in its eye. It may treat me just as badly - that's a chance I'm more than willing to take at this point. Anything has to be better than this.

Unfortunately, I can't say it's me and not you. Because it's totally you. You've treated me (and many others) horribly.

I'd like to think I'll eventually look back on this time with a few fond memories. Nope. No way in hell.

You scrambled my senses, laughed at my aspirations, and made sure my progress stagnated. Your time was always more important than my own. Utter selfishness.

The only positive I can pull from all of this is that you likely made me stronger, more willing to adapt as needed, even if it means doing something I never imagined doing before. Isn't that always the case, though? We learn from the bad. And, oh man, you were bad.

So, with a sigh of relief, I bid you adieu. All the cliches come to mind: don't let the door hit you on the way out, you're getting kicked to the curb, miss you never, sayonara sucker. Ad nauseum.

That time of yours you so valued above my own? Yeah, it's run out.

❦

Author Note: I hope you liked my Dear John letter of sorts. I'm sure many of you are feeling something similar! I won't be talking about what I didn't accomplish with my 2020 writing goals, as I think the above says enough. Next week it'll be 2021, and I'll have a fresh new post with my goals for the New Year. Happy reading!

Image by Jazella from Pixabay

Writing vs. Quarantine

Wow, what a curve ball Mother Nature has sent our way recently!

When this current situation started in the U.S. - Hubbie now working from home every day of the week, kids with pretty much two weeks of spring break instead of just one before diving into virtual learning (um, homeschooling), and me without a moment to myself any longer - I'd thought it would be a grand idea to do a funny diary-like post about the whole situation. As I've learned so often in life, things never turn out how I planned.

As each day passed, my notes quickly turned into not funny at all. And then I had to start homeschooling. Let me tell you, for a person that completely sucks at multi-tasking, my anxiety is beyond high simply from trying to teach Youngest (who doesn't want to listen to me) and field questions from Eldest (while Youngest yatters in my ear to go on with her school work so she can continue to not pay attention or believe a word I say).

This has seriously been rough on me the last nearly four weeks. So rough that I can't get any writing done due to a combination of time, energy, and anxiety.

And yes, I understand and sympathize with others out there who also have it rough (or rougher). I'm not pulling out a measuring stick, trying to compare who has it worse. It's bad for everyone, even if it's a different kind of bad for everyone (even for those people who are simply bored - I mean, I can't grasp the concept of ever being bored with my endless list of interests, but I do understand they are suffering in their own way as well).

So please let's not come into the comments with anything like, "You have it easy - it's so much worse for me!" I've quite had enough of people belittling other people's feelings and reactions to this whole situation.

For me, it simply boils down to, my anxiety is high, so high that I've been on the verge of an anxiety attack several times. And while many of the things causing me anxiety may not affect others the same, that's how those things affect me. Everyone is different, everyone reacts differently, each person has different levels of what they can take, so let's just all get along and sympathize with everyone else - this whole thing sucks all around. Period.

OK, off my soapbox. I guess mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook feed has been getting to me. Too much jabbing on all topics.

Which is why, pretty much after this post, I'm taking a big social media break. This will include blog posts. Hell, it was hard enough convincing myself I needed to write this one. I'm hoping to be back at it all come June.

And yes, as I mentioned already, I've been unable to write. Revisions of Well of Solitude (Fortunes of Fate, 7) are on hold, likely until June as well. I'm hoping in summer, even though the kids will still be home, there will be a lot less pressure due to no longer having to homeschool, and then I can banish them outside for a couple hours (or be nice and let them play video games every afternoon).

Until then, I'm not putting any pressure on myself to write a single word... well, aside from this post. I may start a new Fractured Fairies story just to blow off some steam if my anxiety levels decrease and allow me to have a bit more energy. I've been intending to have Grinka deal with a computer virus - maybe she'll be confronted with a real virus as well, who knows. Those stories have always been my way to vent about annoying situations or just plain have fun. Can you imagine Grinka quarantined with the fairies? Oh, boy.

I'm at least happy to declare my drive to write and conjure up new ideas hasn't been dampened. Stuff is just getting in the way of my ability to execute. =P And I have to accept that once in a while, it's time to put the original plan on pause and go back to it later.

None of us should be too hard on ourselves right now!

I've babbled enough. And since I did spend the time writing down some of the events once we started pretty much quarantining ourselves, aside from grabbing food and taking occasional walks, I'll leave you with a few here. Not the depressing ones. The ones that still give me a bit of a chuckle. I hope they give you a chuckle, too.

Diary of a Quarantined Writer Mom

Day 1 – Bickering broke out at breakfast. Kids had exhausted me by lunch. And then I gave up and played video games until dinner.

Day 2 – Drama over organizing a drawer – Eldest claimed it would take hours to straighten. It took 10 minutes. Pre-order for the Deluxe Edition of Final Fantasy VII Remake delayed – the horror!

Day 4 – Ostara (Spring Equinox)! Woke up with a headache and a beyond hyper Youngest. Where does she get all this energy? Amazon messed up categories for Mind Behind the Mind big time. Medical Romance? Um, no. Planted sunflower seeds, but too tired to dye eggs.

Day 5 – Anxiety climbing. Really need a schedule... if the kids would let me make one between all the other stuff I need to get done. Finally dyed some eggs – glad the kids had fun.

Day 6 – Played a hell of a lot of FFX and let the kids play video games, too.

Day 8 – Schedule for today – let’s see how it goes. It seems Minecraft pacifies the young rabble-rousers. For the most part. Still some drama while I was trying to revise.

Day 9 – Went for our usual walk, and clearly people aren’t taking this social distancing seriously. Another kid tried to give Youngest a shell, and after we backed away and said no thank you, the kid’s caregiver tried to insist it was "just a shell". No, means no. Move along. Do I need to carry a sign that says, "Observing Social Distancing"?

Day 10 – Woke up in an "I don’t care" mood. What do you think that means? More video games!

Day 11 – Eldest’s birthday. Unfortunately, our local baker couldn’t make the cake we ordered. So... Funfetti cupcakes instead! With blue frosting, of course.

Day 12-13 – Lots of video games!

Day 14 – How long does it take to plan three daily schedules and a single day’s lesson plan? All damned day.

Day 15 - First day of homeschooling. How long does it take for the schedules and lesson plan to unravel? Minutes. Oh, and drama over art/drawing? The one task I thought would be easy!

Day 16 – I can’t do this for five plus weeks. Argh! My brain is constantly being interrupted by the kids, notifications from teachers, and the million things I need to do speeding through my mind. My lack of multi-tasking skills are showing through. Writing time? What writing time?

Day 17 and Beyond – Gave up tracking the days. Everything’s blending into one big blob, a blob that I turn into every afternoon as I scroll through Facebook on the couch in utter exhaustion.

Decisions, Decisions... And Cats

So, I've been thinking a lot about how I spend my time, including how I spend my writing time. This includes writing up blog posts for Born to Write, of course.

When I started this blog back in 2003 (has it really been over 15 years? - holy cripes), my main goal was to just write what was on my mind. I didn't really have any structure. It was a bit of a way to vent and get things off my chest, and simply enjoy typing things that the world may or may not read. I was also pretty darn pessimistic back then, but that's a topic for another blog post (one which I likely won't write - lol).

After a while, I realized this venting wasn't enough, that I needed more structure to my posts. I mean, no one wants to listen to me whine constantly, right?

Unfortunately, as I've been shifting and changing and streamlining posts over the years, part of that blogging simply for fun and a kind of release was lost along the way. Not all of it, of course. But with the need to have more structure, I knew I had to be on a better schedule with blog posts. And there in lies the unfunness (which is not a word, I know, but I'm using it anyway, and it looks silly, too).

I've clearly gone back and forth with how often I've been blogging. I tried the once a week thing, but I definitely realized my time right now can't sustain that. Even every other week, though, can be a struggle. It takes me anywhere from 30-60 minutes per blog post, usually somewhere in the middle. In the grand scheme of things, that doesn't sound like a lot of time. However, is it time well spent?

Fall is approaching, and in less than a month both of my kids will be in school full-time. This means I'll have more time available to write because the little distractions will be distracting their teachers instead. And what should I be doing during that time? Working on things to move my writing career forward. The main things that do that are, of course, drafting, revising, and editing.

There will always be other writing tasks that should be tended to aside from those three things, but I think it's time for me to reassess what is and isn't a valuable use of my time.

Which means I'm taking a closer look at writing blog posts. Is the time I spend doing this worth it? I'm clearly not doing it right now simply because I'm having fun, since the schedule puts a major damper on that. So, if I'm not having fun (this is an important thing in evaluating my time - fun is necessary for me to unwind, and I need to make sure I fit it into my days lest my brain completely break down), what then is the benefit of writing blog posts?

That's what I'm asking myself right now. And you can help me figure it out a little, too. There's a big purple box off to the left. It's a simple poll - one question. And I'd like to know how often you like seeing my blog posts. Because part of this blog is to also offer content to people for their enjoyment. If enough people are reading and want to continue reading, then I'll put blogging in the Worth My Time category. On the other hand, if no one responds to the poll at all, I'll know it should go into the Only Worth My Time If Having Fun category.

If you can't see the purple box for some reason, here's the direct link: How Often Should I Post On My Blog? The poll will be available until the end of the month.

Also, if blogging ends up in the latter category, this doesn't mean I'm going to close up shop altogether. I'll likely post less often, though, on no set schedule. Which will get rid of that unfunness. I do enjoy writing up many of my posts, it's just feeling the pressure to make sure I'm posting on a set schedule that can get a bit cumbersome.

I definitely know I need to be writing more! More writing = more books for everyone to read.

Oh, wait, that's not the end of the post. I did mention cats in the title, didn't I? OK, I'll leave you with some pictures of the Trio of Terror over the last year. Enjoy the kitties!

Mini Mind Splat #6: Colored Eggs

MINI MIND SPLAT WARNING: Nothing I comment on is meant to offend. It's simply my opinion and how I feel about certain things (mostly inconsequential things). I'd love to see thoughts from others in the comments. Just remember, have fun with it. This isn't meant to be super serious.

Yesterday was Ostara, the spring equinox, the first day of spring. And I dyed eggs with my kids! (We do it on Ostara in our house instead of Easter, since we don't celebrate the latter.).

The kids definitely had fun, and Hubbie allowed them to get a glitter kit. One that claimed "Less Mess". Yeah, right. I'll be finding glitter around the house for the next year. =/

Anyway, one of the more fun things about coloring eggs is mixing the colors. Dipping an egg in one color to then follow it up by another color and then see what comes out of it. Of course, you need to be careful what order you do this in, plus some colors just don't mix.

Hubbie and I got some pretty nifty resulting colors from that practice this year.

See, one of the things we do every year when dying eggs is make Wish Eggs. We blow out the insides of an egg for each of us. Then as we decorate the egg, we think of a wish for the year ahead and share it with each other. We keep these eggs on a shelf in our dining room so we can remember our wishes, until next Ostara.

This year Youngest wished that a chick would hatch out of her egg (remember these are emptied out). We all laughed, but she plans to check on her egg every day to see if a chicken comes out of it - lol.

My wish this year is for more balance in my life, with a side of inner peace - that inner peace goes hand-in-hand with the balance, of course. I just want to feel like I'm paying the proper amount of attention to each thing in my life.

Yes, I'm talking about that long list from my Balance post. What, you thought I was off the whole time theme? Nope, still going. Time to chase down that Balance Unicorn, with a pitchfork if I have to.

Now that spring has sprung, what's your wish for the year?

Mini Mind Splat #5: Balance

MINI MIND SPLAT WARNING: Nothing I comment on is meant to offend. It's simply my opinion and how I feel about certain things (mostly inconsequential things). I'd love to see thoughts from others in the comments. Just remember, have fun with it. This isn't meant to be super serious.

I know I've probably grumbled about balance in past posts. It's a thorn in my paw, for sure. Seeking that ideal balance in life is near impossible, though so many things out there insist you should easily be able to attain it (lies, all lies, I say -- those who claim it's possible, just want to make you feel like a failure).

Of course, the big obstacle in the way of perfect balance is time.

Did you think I was done with the time theme? Nope. Nowhere near. Heh.

Anyway, there are so many things in my life that need attention -- writing career, editing business, reading, kids, husband, extended family, house management, house cleaning/organizing/projects (and yes, management and cleaning are two separate things -- the mental load of the former can be a bit crushing at times), social media, friends (this one seems to be the first thing kicked off the list nowadays), errands, going out to movies or events, TV, video games, hobbies (and I have many which get ignored, including cross-stitching, drawing, and coloring), exercise, spiritual studies and work (I really have to put myself in the non-practicing Wiccan category at this point), cats, and probably several other things that I can't think of right now because I've ignored them for too long. (Also, I didn't mention cooking because I avoid it at all costs, though I really should cook more often.)

The above is in no particular order of importance, but just making that list causes my head to spin. I can't do it, I can't keep all the balls in the air, I just don't have the time.

And it sucks. Let's face it, most of us realize we have a limited amount of time on this planet, and to know that we'll never accomplish all we want to do, well, that more than sucks.

I've attempted to plan it all out, the whole time management thing, in hopes to divide that time up more wisely and squeeze in a little bit of everything, but it always fails.

Balance is a unicorn. An annoying unicorn (I'd say a rabid unicorn, but those things only think of supple human flesh). But I don't think I'll ever stop trying to tame the damned thing.

What is the toughest task in your life to balance?

EDIT: I realized after posting, I forgot the most important thing on my tremendously long list. I never seem to get enough of it (maybe if I would, I would have remembered it). Sleep!

Writing Prompt #4: Turn Back Time

I've decided to stick to the time theme for a bit. Life really does revolve around time, and it's fun to explore the different facets. So, here we go with a Writing Prompt -- the first in a long time! Heh.

Any past Tips & Prompts can be found on my website: Writing Tips & Prompts.

Writing Prompt #4: Turn Back Time

Turning back time. Are we in a science fiction story? Nope, not quite. Though you could always convert this prompt into one if you'd like.

Almost everyone has regrets, and those regrets usually stem from decisions we've made -- decisions that hindsight indicates were wrong (though hindsight isn't always right either). Confused yet? Wondering what this has to do with a writing prompt? No, sorry, I'm not delving into your psyche. This isn't a therapy session. Though, like the science fiction story, you could always make it into one. After all, writing can be quite therapeutic.

Therapy aside, delve into your memories and pick a time when you made a decision that you feel was the wrong one. Now, think about what would have happened if you chose differently. First, write down the immediate difference. Then go from there. What would your present look like if you would have done something differently in your past? Follow the dominoes as they fall, each change leading to a new one.

Or if you don't want to explore a regret in your life, pick a time you made the right decision and your life was better for it. Then consider what would have happened if you'd chosen a bad path instead. What other occurrences and decisions would that have led to?

This is a great way to explore cause and effect, which is so important in fiction. Every action has a reaction, and every choice will change the path of your character. Since you know yourself well, it's easier to map out the possible differences due to a changed decision, which you can then apply to your fiction.

In essence, writing out how much your life would have morphed due to different choices is fiction itself. With a few tweaks, you could even change it into a story in whatever genre you'd like.

You want me to give it a whirl? Let's see...

In my 20s, I had a bit of an obsession with Mage Knight (if you don't know what this is, Google it). I wanted to collect all the rare figures in every set. To do this, I bought Mage Knight booster packs by the case. And I told myself I'd actually play the game as well. Of course, I never actually played, and I still have a bunch of Mage Knight figures packed away in a closet.

What if I never sunk all that money into those Mage Knight figures?

I would have saved hundreds of dollars. True, I could have just spent it on another silly obsession. But what if I'd spent it more wisely? Put it toward my student loans, perhaps. I'd have much less debt right now. Invested it for the long term -- money saved for retirement (though, let's face it, I'm a writer, I'll only retire when my brain truly comes unhinged).

Or... and here comes the true fantasy. I could have spent it all on lottery tickets and hit it big! Today, I'd live in my dream re-modeled Victorian and be able to hire someone to clean my house and watch my kids while I write until my heart's content. Ah, if only.

Then a fairy would come along and steal it all.

Go on, give it a try. You don't need to be too serious. Turn back time and explore how different life might be. And write!

Mini Mind Splat #4: Time

MINI MIND SPLAT WARNING: Nothing I comment on is meant to offend. It's simply my opinion and how I feel about certain things (mostly inconsequential things). I'd love to see thoughts from others in the comments. Just remember, have fun with it. This isn't meant to be super serious.

Time. Such a fickle thing.

When we're kids, we feel like we have all the time in the world. It's awesome, freeing. And when we're eager for something to arrive or be done, time always slows to a crawl. At least that's how it was for me when I was young.

Now? Time speeds by as fast as light. You blink, and an hour's gone. Working on a project that you think will only take an hour? Look at the clock, it's been three.

Am I right? This can't just be me. It seems the older I get the quicker time ticks by. The long list of things I should do added in with the list of things I want to do just never seem to get done because time is gone with the snap of my fingers.

Maybe it's because more things demand our time as we get older, but when I think back to college even, I wonder how I had so much time then and so little time now. And I feel like I squandered that time I had. Why didn't I write more? Why didn't I read more? Why the hell didn't I fill it up with all of the things I want to do now?

Time is supposed to be measured precisely, every second, every minute the same length, immutable. But for me, it shifts and changes, and laughs at me when I think I have more of it than I truly do.

What I'd give to be a kid again, ignorant, seeing the hours stretch before me, endless.

Instead I need to parcel out every second and make sure I'm using my time wisely.

How long did it take to write this post?

2019 - Determination

Happy, 2019! Yes, I'm saying happy. This year, I'm not going to let life roll me over and flatten me out. I will plow through the obstacles! Is that determination enough to go along with the post title? I hope so. Not sure how much more I have in me right now. My tea is the only thing keeping me awake right now (I really need to stop staying up so late).

Anyway, my goals for this year look oddly familiar. Hm... yup, almost exactly like last year's! Hahahahaha. Yes, I'm laughing about it. I have to, to hold onto any shred of sanity I have left.

First, my mantras. I narrowed these down and only have three this year. Wait, you only see two listed below? That's because I'm keeping one to myself. It's a bit of a harsh one, and I don't want to offend anyone. My mind works in mysterious ways, and although I know what the mantra means for me, people could easily take it another way.

2019 Mantras

❦ Just Write.

❦ Passion, Determination, Focus.

There's that word determination again! Super stubborn Leo here, and I'm not going to let life stop me from reaching my writing goals. With that said, I still have kids and other responsibilities, so my goals aren't too insane this year. Keep going, just need to keep going, and have fewer days where I'm not doing any writing tasks.

2019 Goals

❦ Follow the writing schedule I've planned. The basic focus of this is to write (or do writing related tasks) for 1.5-2 hours per day, every weekday (weekends off!), through August. Come September, I hope to up this to 3-3.5 hours per day, since my youngest will be in school full time. I've also given myself 50 off days (I know this sounds like a lot, but kids... especially in summer) -- this includes holidays, vacation, and sick time. Time Spent > Words Produced. Especially since the more time I spend consistently writing, the quicker I write.

❦ Revise, edit, send to copy editor, edit again, format, and release Thorns Entwine the Blade (Trinity Torn, 2). Finally. I hope. I better.

❦ Draft, revise, edit, format, and release Well of Shades (Fortunes of Fate, 7). I'm still not sold on Shades. Since I have so many S alternatives for that last word in the title, maybe I should just call it Well of S? Heh.

❦ Write introduction and format Untitled Fortunes of Fate Collection (Fortunes of Fate, 1-6).

❦ Finish draft of Obsidian's Obsession (Chains of Nect, 1). I'm going to need more chapters for my newsletter subscribers! If you'd like to see the chapters earlier, please sign up for the newsletter (link on the left side), but I'll also post them to my blog (and Wattpad) one month after each chapter is sent via the newsletter.

❦ Blog posts -- I'm still aiming for one post every other week. However, I'm considering trying to up it to one post per week again. Though this would include several shorter, commentary type posts. I'm still tumbling things around in my head on how exactly I want to approach the shorter posts. Maybe some with just pics? Some with a link or two I found useful? Any thoughts are welcome!

❦ One newsletter per month still. And a chapter of Obsidian's Obsession available to download in .MOBI and .EPUB format in each, too!

❦ Back to doing one Critter critique each week as well.

❦ Limit social media. Focus on writing. Makes sense, right? I am trying a new thing, though. One picture (minimum) per day on Instagram. It's the one social media platform I don't side eye on a regular basis, so I figured, why not. So, if you want to see a daily pic from me, follow me on Instagram!

As usual, those are my main goals. I have a whole slew of side goals if I happen to make awesome progress on the things above.

I'm not going to list the planned publications. You can see from my goals that I'm hoping to release three different titles, but I don't want to make any firm dates yet. Yes, I may be determined to take this year by storm, however I know how big problems can flatten that in seconds. I'm knocking on wood (well plywood - lol) a hell of a lot at my desk to keep away the big, bad stuff.

Oh, and the 5-Year Plan is on ice. It needs an overhaul, but I don't want to waste the time doing it right now when things are still a bit in flux. Maybe if life seems to even out nicely once both kids are in school full-time.

I'll leave everyone with a picture of my Writing Bullet Journal. Ready to kick off 2019! I still love bullet journaling -- so relaxing.

And feel free to share any of your goals for the year below. May we all vanquish our goals with ease!

The New Writing Routine (Until It Changes Again...)

I posted back in June that my schedule has been constantly shifting. Well, with fall finally here and both kids in school (Youngest only for a couple hours per day, four days a week), the schedule has shifted again. And I thought it would be nice to report in and let everyone know how things are going, since I've been at it for about four weeks.

The Positive

❦ September has been much better than the first few months of the year. I actually feel like I'm making progress, and I feel way less scattered.

❦ I'm not as exhausted (though still a bit tired because of my own bad habits of staying up too late), since I'm not walking Youngest so far to school. 25 minutes of walking a day is much more doable than 2 hours (heck, I've even taken to walking another 20 minutes just to enjoy the day and exercise a bit, once I drop Youngest off -- still way better than 2 hours).

❦ This month I managed to revise 5.1k, only 0.9k short of my main goal. That's the second best month I've had this year for productivity! Oh, and that's with squeezing an originally unplanned beta read in.

❦ I'm at the halfway point in revisions for Thorns Entwine the Blade (Trinity Torn, 3). Yay!

❦ I haven't come down with the plague yet, nor have my kids. This is rather amazing because usually we're all sick within a couple weeks of school starting up again. And yes, I'm knocking on all kinds of wood right now for even mentioning this. XD

The Not So Positive (I don't want to use that bad word...)

❦ I still get distracted during my writing/revising hours and haven't started in on things as early as I would like to. I think I'm enjoying a break from both kids too much and then I lose track of time (don't get me wrong, I love them to pieces, but small breaks are nice, especially from Youngest because she is a pistol). Once I get going, I'm fine, but it's the getting started I need to improve.

❦ Most times I'm using tea or soda to wake myself up a bit for writing sessions. Though I don't feel like I'm going to pass out like when I was walking so much, afternoons are still more difficult for me compared to mid-mornings. It's those after lunch sleepies.

❦ I'm still a bit behind on even my revised goals for the year that I outlined back in June.

All in all, as you can see, this current writing routine is working out way better than any of the others I had to juggle and shuffle earlier this year. I think that with time and getting more used to the routine, I'll be less distracted before writing time and start in earlier.

It does mean that I'm getting closer to finishing Thorns Entwine the Blade. Once I finish revisions, it's off to my copy editor. Maybe I'll even finish sooner than planned -- who knows!

Writing Update - June 2018

It's been a rough year. Clearly I've expressed this in some of my past posts, but it was about time that I took a closer look at what was going on and what I should do about it. Unfortunately, the answer turned out to be cutting back on my writing goals.

Everything kind of went to hell last November. I'd had a huge schedule shift in mid-September, and I was able to kind of keep my head above water and give NaNoWriMo a go until I got bronchitis around Thanksgiving. It's been a bumpy road since then, even though I was optimistic that I'd still be able to average the same weekly word count as 2017. The schedule shift didn't work for my writing productivity at all, though, and other life obstacles made it so I crashed and burned at the beginning of this year.

The thing is, the schedule has shifted again (no more naps for my youngest -- yay?). And then it's going to shift yet again in fall (4K four times per week in the afternoons... of course, over the time when I usually eat lunch). My brain is most productive with writing mid-morning, and it's not looking like I'll get my mid-mornings back to write until Fall 2019.

I'm trying "Quiet Time" with my youngest a couple days a week, but she still interrupts and once fall hits, there won't be time for that since I'll need to feed her lunch super early. Again, this all doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing. Afternoons aren't completely out of the question once fall rolls around, it's just harder going for me, so I'm slower.

Also, I've really lacked focus on my health and organizing the house (1001 Reasons Not to Clean -- yes?), as well as spending some quality time with my family. All of this is why I've decided to reduce my writing goals. Then when Fall 2019 finally arrives, I can ramp them back up. It sucks to start going even more slowly, but it does suit most of my mantras I have for the year:

❦ Slow Down.

❦ Just Write.

❦ Live.

❦ One Word At A Time.

❦ Any Progress Is Good Progress.

❦ All In Time.

If ever I needed to start repeating all of those in my head several times a day, it's now.

What does this mean for my plans for the rest of 2018?

I won't have any publications this year.

Yes, Thorns Entwine the Blade (Trinity Torn, 2) won't be published until 2019, and the next Fortunes of Fate story is also getting pushed off. The run down of my plans are below. I'm shifting from hourly goals to simple word counts as well.

2018 Writing Goals -- Redo

❦ Summer: Revise 1.5k words per week (1 week off) --- Fall/Winter: Revise 2k words per week (2 weeks off and 3 weeks of planning and other writing tasks). This should put me at 37k words revised by the end of the year. All of this will be on Thorns Entwine the Blade. Before this week, I was 40k into revisions (I know, the word meters are broken), so I will likely have 14k-23k left to revise in 2019 (along with then sending to my editor, applying edits, and formatting before it's published).

❦ Pause critiquing efforts (unless one of my close writer friends needs extra eyes -- I will squeeze in time for them) until I'm ready to do them on a consistent basis again. This doesn't include beta reading and developmental editing for Haunted Unicorn Publishing. That's my side income right now (that mostly covers my writing expenses, since my hubbie is the main breadwinner), and that still takes precedence whenever I have a client.

❦ 1 newsletter per month (this isn't changing, and I'm still sending out chapters of Chains of Nect).

❦ 1 blog post every 2 weeks (another staying the same, at least).

Hopefully simplifying all of this will help me get into a routine for health, house, and family. And once all of that is more solid, I can increase my writing quotas. Also, by lowering my weekly word count goals, I'll actually get to feel the satisfaction of hitting my goals, which always makes me feel better. I've already hit 1.5k for this week -- yay!

Oh, and clearly the 5-Year Plan isn't viable anymore. I'll work on a new one in December to reflect my reduced writing time through 2019. I'm sure I'll be editing that damned thing every year, but it's still nice to have to give me a bit of perspective.

Happy writing and reading, all! Just remember, if Life takes a hammer to the asphalt and the road becomes too rough, sometimes you just need to slow down.

2018... What? Already?

Nothing like the end of a year and the beginning of the next sneaking up on you. I'd love to snap a picture of my 1-Year Plan written in my Bullet Journal for this post, but alas it hasn't made it into the Bullet Journal yet.

At least I have a 1-Year Plan, even if it's only in a Word doc right now. Guess what? I have a 5-Year Plan, too! That was pretty damned hard to do, though it's only drafting, revising, and publication goals.

Last year, I jumped into the year with too high expectations for my productivity. I can declare this, since I didn't hit all of my goals. But I'm still thrilled with the progress I did make. So this year, I'm going to be more realistic. I crunched numbers (numbers are fun), and my plan for this year follows how productive I was last year. Yay for realism? Hehe.

Before I get into a few items from my 1-Year Plan, just know, if you're patient, you'll discover which Tarot card won in my survey. You just have to read to the end for it. Oh, the suspense! ;)

I decided I needed a few mantras for 2018. Maybe if I repeat these every day, they'll sink in. And I think they say a lot about where I am in my writing career right now.

2018 Writing Mantras

❦ Slow Down.

❦ Just Write.

❦ Live.

❦ One Word At A Time.

❦ Any Progress Is Good Progress.

❦ All In Time.

Writing kind of took over my life last year, which is why the first one is, "Slow Down." I love to write and I have a writing career to build, but I don't want to sacrifice everything else in my life, including family time. In 2017, I felt like I was scrambling with writing all year and ignoring everything else too much.

With that said, my main writing goals for this year follow! (Note: This excludes any developmental editing and beta reading work -- I do have a limit of work hours per week scheduled for that as well, though.)

2018 Writing Goals

❦ 10 hours per week of writing and writing related tasks. (No more, no less -- though I have some scheduled weeks off.)

❦ Maximum 2 hours per week of critiquing.

❦ Complete revisions and do an edit of Thorns Entwine the Blade.

❦ Draft, revise, and edit the next Fortunes of Fate story. (What card will it be based on? Keep reading!)

❦ Start revisions on the poor, neglected novel, Dead As Dreams

❦ 1 newsletter per month -- each one will include a chapter of the first draft of Chains of Nect: Obsidian's Obsession in mobi and epub formats!

❦ 1 blog post every 2 weeks. (Yup, I'm reducing the blog post frequency again -- I may have a few extras, though, depending on how the year goes.)

That's the main stuff. Oh, you wanted to know about publications? Yes, yes. I still plan to release two titles in 2018, but right now I don't have publication dates. I don't want to stress myself out with firm deadlines. Progress is what's important.

2018 Publications

❦ Thorns Entwine the Blade (Trinity Torn, 2)

❦ Untitled Fate Story (Fortunes of Fate, 7) -- Sorry there's no title yet!

This post has gotten rather long already. So I won't go into my 5-Year Plan extensively, but I will mention some general details. Again, it mostly contains word count goals for drafting and revision along with hopeful publication dates. I expect it to change each year, as a plan like this is mainly just to see where I'm heading and isn't set in stone.

You already know the publication goals for 2018. So... 2019 -- Dead As Dreams and GSD vs. Everything. 2020 -- I'll be working on the draft and revisions of the third Trinity Torn novel for most of the year, so publications will hopefully be 1 Fate story and 1 other story connected to Trinity Torn. 2021 -- The third Trinity Torn novel, a Fractured Fairies story, and a Devil Made Me story. 2022 -- Downward Spiral, the first title in my Urban Unicorn novel series, 1 Fate story, and 1 collection of short stories (old and new).

5-Year Plans are scary, no? I think they are.

OK, I promised to reveal the Tarot card, didn't I? This post is huge! Maybe I should leave it for next time. You can wait two weeks, right?

Fine, fine. I'll be nice.

I had 2 votes each for:

❦ The Chariot
❦ Temperance
❦ The Empress

But there was a card I had 3 votes for. And that card is...

❦ The Hermit

So that's the next one I'll be doing! This will be interesting. Jasp, the protagonist of the last Fortunes of Fate story, was a bit hermit-like. Which means it will be fun to see what I can do to make this next story completely different. The options are plentiful, especially since I can pull from the upright and reversed meanings of the card.

Thank you to all who voted!

I hope everyone excels with their 2018 goals. I'd be happy to hear what anyone else has planned for the year, writing related or not!

Oh, Look - March!

How are we over a week into March already? Where does the time go?

Well, I honestly don't have much progress to report. LIFE has intervened. I'm not going to go into details right now, but I'm thinking life interruptions will be a factor in my writing progress for the next couple of months still.

Now, this doesn't mean I won't be trying to get some writing done, but unfortunately, there are just some other things that need to take priority. The only thing that would immediately move writing to the top at this time is a book contract. =P But here's hoping I can find little slots of time to continue revisions on Dead As Dreams as well as work on some short story projects. I would still love to indie publish more of my short stories, but right now I'll have to wait until I have bigger chunks of time.

However, I am still hosting Writing Quest every month. Come join us at Writing Quest - March!

NEXT UP: Wednesday, March 20 - Ostara!

Writing Blues

First, my apologies for not posting last week. And again, apologies for this post not being what I had planned initially.

I've kind of run into the writing blues lately. Part of me thinks it's the weather shift, the change in the seasons that has me a bit down. The colder months have a way of dragging me down, like I have this innate need to hibernate or something. Funny enough, I actually live in a town where someone once lived who was famous for "hibernating", or not leaving his apartment for the entire winter--his name was Arthur "Turkey" Gehrke.

OK, that was a tangent. Perhaps that's part of my problem too--my mind wanders into insane directions.

Now, I know many people say to just keep writing, push through, ignore how you feel. Unfortunately, my moods tend to affect my writing. It's kind of weird. If I'm not into the writing, it's obvious. That would be fine if I were working on a first draft and it didn't matter if it was messy, but I'm trying to revise Dead As Dreams! This revision needs to be the best it can be, as I don't want to wait for another five years before I start submitting the manuscript places.

I think my other issue is I'm kind of feeling left behind. Both of my crit partners are actively publishing things, either through an e-publisher or some of it indie published. They're so busy with their writing, and I'm at a different stage with my writing--I still need feedback, so the dominoes can go off in my head. Me, I had another rejection come back for The Mind Behind the Mind last week. I would consider indie publishing it, but I need the next two books in that trilogy lined up before Mind can be released. All of that takes time, and with running the house and caring for my 4-year-old, I feel like time is slipping through my fingers. So, I get overwhelmed and then depressed, which leads to freezing up.

I also know other people say ditch all of your hobbies/pastimes/downtime to write. If I do that I'm even more frazzled. If I don't have time to veg each day, I'll give myself an anxiety attack (I get enough of those the way it is).

What's my point to this post? I guess it's just a bit of a vent, getting my frustrations out there. I'll get over it all, I have to, because if I don't keep writing something inside of me will shrivel up and die, and I can't have that happen. I might just need to allow myself to take a break, to take it all one step at a time, and stop getting ahead of myself. It'll get done when it gets done, and one day I'll be at the same level as many of my other writer friends--it'll just take me a bit longer.

So, what do you do to get over the writing blues? Have you ever found yourself in a funk that makes it hard for you to write or work on other things? I'd love to hear what other people have done to pull themselves out of that funk!

NEXT UP: Monthly Update (Next Wednesday)

Sick and Tired

OK, sick and tired is one of those phrases that can sometimes be seen as hyperbole, one of those phrases people use to say they are just annoyed with a certain situation.

Unfortunately for me, it's a literal meaning. I have been pretty darn sick all week, so much so that I have been unable to sleep much all week. I was quite lucky to just type the previous sentences and have them make sense. Do they make sense? Maybe only to my sleep-deprived brain and illness-addled mind.

So, I am going to be skipping another week of a blog post with some type of content that doesn't include me whining about my life or making excuses.

This has also made me realize that I may need to step back and take a look at what I've been doing on my blog. Life is crazy, and I need to schedule things better and plan ahead. I'm not even sure if any of my posts have been interesting to the few readers that I have (no one comments - ha!). Also, over the next six months, I will have a heavy load of classes, which will strain my time even more.

What do all of these thoughts mean?

I'm going to take a few days to chew over things. My blog will NOT be disappearing, that is a given, but I might be posting less, at least for a while. I know that means I will be in danger of losing the few readers I do have, but I think I may have to take that risk or lose my sanity (I mean, it's hanging by a thread to begin with!).

There will be no blog posts about Once Upon A Time for now, since I am so behind on episodes and people usually like reviews shortly after the episodes air. Perhaps I will review another episode down the line, but no promises (same with Grimm).

My next post will be my yearly goals and a look back at 2011, and I hope to write that up next week, when I also decide on the direction and time commitment I will be taking with this blog. I am open to any comments and suggestions as well.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year and manages to stay healthier than I have been! Happy writing. <3

Finding Time to Write!

Recently, I've picked up the book Time to Write: Professional writers reveal how to fit writing into your busy life. Heck, finding time to read the tips is a hard enough feat!

But the truth is, for all of us that have that drive to write, time is always a factor. So many things want to interrupt writing time, seem more important than that writing time. Before you know it, a year has come and gone with little to no writing because you let everything else get in the way.

If you're Born to Write, you'll find the time, even if you do have productive periods and unproductive periods like I do. That drive, that need, that yearning will overcome you, and you'll jump off that writing cliff. The thing is, we all need to strive for more consistency. We need to stick to it if we intend to produce words on a regular basis. Get in a schedule, a pattern, and learn what is the best environment and time to write. We have to make writing a habit. This is something I've yet to succeed at, but I'm still trying.

Time to stop making excuses and make time to write! It's easy enough to say, not so easy to do. So when you scrub out those excuses and get in the good habit, make sure you're proud of yourself for doing just that - it's a lot of hard work. Writing isn't easy, nor is making the time to do it.

There are several links below with many tips on finding time to write. Bookmark them if you don't have time to look at them now. One small bit of advice just might be exactly what you need to get your writing gears turning and your fingers flying.

So, when do you make time to write? What are your usual roadblocks, and what do you think you can do to overcome them?


Finding Time to Write: Making Writing a Priority
Five Tips for Finding Writing Time
Finding Time to Write When You Have No Time to Write!
Why There'll Never Be a Perfect Time to Write
Make Time to Write: How to Find Time to Write


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