Crazy Necro Antics, Fifth Edition - Wedding Bells Part 2: Broadsword Wedding

The necromancer is a playable character class in Everquest, also called necro for short. Necros have an ability called feign death--some nicknames for this ability are FD and flopping. This series will highlight some funny instances of feign death. You do not need to be an Everquest player or even a gamer to laugh at these antics. Happy giggles!

What's going on? Morrigann remembers the tempting glass of wine offered to her. It was delicious, but it had an odd aftertaste. Who was it again that poured it? The world is all fuzzy and she's drifting away. She swears she only had a few sips, no where near enough to get drunk.

A moment of brief lucidity. Beautiful doors. Such gorgeous stained-glass windows. Where is she? Why can't she seem to move? How did she get here in the first place? Too many questions--she's never been this drunk before. Never blacked out before. Her vision fades again as she stares at the colors of the glass.

She returns to consciousness once more. Sunlight filters into the windows, and she smells the flowers. The heady scent wafts into her nose, making her feel as if she's floating. Odd. She definitely prefers flopping to casting Dead Man Floating on herself. She needs to stop waking up in places she has no recollection of wandering to. Before she can try to process her location, blackness takes her.

An altar? Is she crashing another wedding? She swore she wouldn't again, not after the last time. Those wizards still give her nightmares, and she was lucky to escape with her life. No way she wanted to be in another chapel! But it does look like an altar....

Instead of drifting off into nothingness again, her vision clears and she finally focuses on her surrounding. Here she is, flopped in front of an altar. What is she doing here? Who did this to her? She tries to get up, unsuccessfuly, but she hears movement and grunting, as if someone is dragging another body, like they must have dragged her. She must have been drugged with the wine!

Eek! Morrigann's been saying that way too often lately. The other body they pulled next to her is that of a shadowknight. And there's another shadowknight looming next to her. She's been caught in a broadsword wedding! She doesn't want to get married, especially to a shadowknight. No way, uh uh. The tip of the looming shadowknight's sword looks way too sharp.

But she has to risk escape. Thankfully, she comes to her senses soon enough before the minister has a chance to make the marriage binding, and bolts through the chapel doors, narrowly missing the sweep of that wicked sword.

Not only is she going to avoid weddings, but it might be time to lay off the wine as well. Time to stay upright for a bit instead of flopping through life.

If you have any suggestions and silly antics you'd like to see, please post in the comments! It's possible your chosen antic(s) may be used in an upcoming post. All requests will be attributed in the post with a link back to the requester's blog (so include your blog link as well if I don't know it).

NEXT UP: New Cover for "Dancing in the Wind"

Crazy Necro Antics, Fourth Edition - Wedding Bells Part 1: Wedding Crasher

The necromancer is a playable character class in Everquest, also called necro for short. Necros have an ability called feign death--some nicknames for this ability are FD and flopping. This series will highlight some funny instances of feign death. You do not need to be an Everquest player or even a gamer to laugh at these antics. Happy giggles!

It's that time of year. The time of year when many inhabitants of Norrath get a certain itch. An itch that Morrigann doesn't understand. All she knows is that the bells are loud and there's wine. Aside from the wine, why would anyone want to tie themselves to someone else for eternity? Especially elves and such--they have long lives. There better be a lot more wine for all of those years ahead. Today, Morrigann sneaks into a church and finds some of that tasty nectar. Excellent vintage!

Oh, look at that. Something that pairs perfect with the wine. How can she forget about the cake? Perhaps all of these luxuries are why people get married. Good drink, good eats. But it only lasts for a day. There are far better excuses to throw a party. Heck, being alive after a battle with a scary named mob is a great excuse to celebrate, and that happens practically every day in Norrath. Morrigann makes it a point to have something to party for as often as possible. This cake is delicious, though. Mmmm.

Morrigann has to admit, the bride has great taste in flowers. Such lovely deep purple blooms. And the sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows draws the color out, making the flowers shine as brightly as they smell. Ah, such a nice patch of sun. Warm. Comfortable. The perfect place to take a brief nap. No one will mind, right? It's not like she snores or anything. Zzzzzz.

Oh, no. Has she been sleep walking again? How did she get here? She's not presiding over this wedding! Ugh, and these books are horribly musty. They need new copies. Hm, perhaps the couple hasn't seen her yet. It might be a good idea to sneak out of here before the minister gets here. That's going to prove difficult--the guests are already filing in, their eyes riveted to the front, watching the happy couple prepare to say their vows. Running might be the best option.

Morrigann makes a dash for it when the minister comes to take his place, but trips on the runner right behind the couple. They don't seem to notice immediately that she doesn't belong there, that she wasn't invited. Odd that, she sticks out like a sore thumb. Only Drakkin in the lot. Not to mention the guests are mostly wizards. And why exactly is a High Elf wizard marrying a Barbarian berserker? The elf had to have cast some spell on him. The berserker brandishes his glowing axe at Morrigann. Eek!

She pushes herself up and dashes down the aisle. The doors are so close! Ack! She tumbles again--these runners are killer. Wait, no. She pleads with them, claiming she's just an innocent necro who got lost on her way to someone else's wedding. These churches all look so similar. They're not buying it. The couple and guests gather around her, voices rising in anger. All those wizard epics have too many spikes. And keep the orbs of fire away from the robe! A creepy feeling washes over Morrigann when she realizes many of the wizards look eerily similar. Wizards of the Corn? She shudders.

Morrigann has definitely had enough of weddings for a long time.

Or has she?

Come back on July 8 for Wedding Bells Part 2: Broadsword Wedding.

If you have any suggestions and silly antics you'd like to see, please post in the comments! It's possible your chosen antic(s) may be used in an upcoming post. All requests will be attributed in the post with a link back to the requester's blog (so include your blog link as well if I don't know it).

NEXT UP: Magic Is Reality, Reality Is Magic - Midsummer

Crazy Necro Antics, Third Edition - Springtime!

The necromancer is a playable character class in Everquest, also called necro for short. Necros have an ability called feign death--some nicknames for this ability are FD and flopping. This series will highlight some funny instances of feign death. You do not need to be an Everquest player or even a gamer to laugh at these antics. Happy giggles!

The bees (and bixies) are buzzing about, flowers are in bloom, and the necros make sure to enjoy spring as only necros can! Morrigann decides that this time, fun amongst the flowers would be best had with a friend. So, Eteron joins her! As you can see, the heady scent of the flowers immediately puts them in a haze. They just can't stay on their feet, it's so intoxicating! Careful, Morrigann and Eteron, a bixie is lurking below--you may be dreaming spring dreams on her flower.

Sure enough, the bixies are after Eteron! Oh, no. Play dead before they sting you. Where is Morrigann? She needs to come to her friend's rescue.

Yikes! Guess she's in a pickle of her own. The sporelings and flowers must not have liked the way she smelled them. Seems the necros just can't stay out of trouble. Can they escape without feign death becoming real death?

Necro revenge! Both Eteron and Morrigann manage to smite the creatures camping them. And then they raise the dead for their own little army! Don't go threatening this pair of necros, or they'll put your corpse to work--no peace even in death!

And if you can't beat them, join them. Morrigann and Eteron don bixie illusions so they won't be bothered by the locals anymore. Oh, dear, guess the water lilies have them floating face down. They must not know bixies shouldn't go near the water.

DON'T EAT THE MUSHROOMS! Oops. I guess it's too late. What are we going to do with these careless necros? I bet they're hallucinating now. Because you really shouldn't eat the mushrooms. Everyone knows that. Well, everyone except Morrigann and Eteron.

The day winds down, and the necro friends are exhausted from all of their spring frolicking. So exhausted, as a matter of fact, that they can't find their way out of the hedge maze. Oh, well. They'll just take a nap and worry about it later.

Morrigann wants to remember the fun time she had with Eteron, so she brings some flowers back to the guild hall. However, she had to fight several bixies off to be able to pick the flowers, so she's a little worse for wear. It was worth it, though! She can't wait until next spring.

If you have any suggestions and silly antics you'd like to see, please post in the comments! It's possible your chosen antic(s) may be used in an upcoming post. All requests will be attributed in the post with a link back to the requester's blog (so include your blog link as well if I don't know it).

NEXT UP: Monthly Update!

Crazy Necro Antics, Second Edition - Winter!

The necromancer is a playable character class in Everquest, also called necro for short. Necros have an ability called feign death--some nicknames for this ability are FD and flopping. This series will highlight some funny instances of feign death. You do not need to be an Everquest player or even a gamer to laugh at these antics. Happy giggles!

Last time Morrigann showed us how fun summer can be for a necromancer. Well, winter is even more of a blast! It's not wise to go for a swim in winter, especially when the river is covered with ice! Oh no, poor Morrigann looks like she didn't make it out, and she was so close. Is she still alive? Will someone rescue her?

Phew. It looks like she made it out. Perhaps her pet dragged her to safety--they may look like bones or shades, but those necro pets are strong! Wait, is she moving at all? She better get inside where it's warm, or she's going to become a necrosicle. Poor thing.

Looks like she finally did make it inside, but she's in an ice cavern! That's no help. The indigenous spiders saw her as a hostile creature. Eek! Better flop before she gets eaten. But be careful, those ledges are slippery. She may just fall off, and those darn spiders don't want to leave her alone.

Back outside. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! What a perfect time to make a snow angel...face first.... Necros are weird ones! Oh look, there's a mammoth in the distance.

Go, go undead polar bear army! Kill the beast! Because, um, Morrigann's health is dropping. Er, come on polar bears, you're supposed to kill the thing. Ack, Morrigann is going to have to flop if she wants to survive this one.

And so she flopped. Wait, you don't see her? Take a look at the left side of the picture. Yes, near the mammoth's backside. See her there? Squished under the gigantic mammoth foot! A big strong wizard had to come rescue Morrigann, but she survived.

And Morrigann finally made it into the warm guild hall. But after all the snowy antics, she drank a bit too much eggnog and flopped into the Frostfell tree! I think this necro has had enough of winter. =)

If you have any suggestions and silly antics you'd like to see, please post in the comments! It's possible your chosen antic(s) may be used in an upcoming post. All requests will be attributed in the post with a link back to the requester's blog (so include your blog link as well if I don't know it).

NEXT UP: Sookie Vs. Sookie - comparison of the characters in Dead Until Dark and True Blood.

Crazy Necro Antics, First Edition - Summer!

The necromancer is a playable character class in Everquest, also called necro for short. Necros have an ability called feign death--some nicknames for this ability are FD and flopping. This series will highlight some funny instances of feign death. You do not need to be an Everquest player or even a gamer to laugh at these antics. Happy giggles!

Today my necromancer, Morrigann, will all show us how much fun she has at a beach party!

It's always fun of course to start out by sunning on the beach. The necromancer has a distinct advantage when tanning her back, however, due to only being able to FD in one position, her stomach is still stark white. ;) The half and half look is in this summer with most necros, but it doesn't much matter when their robes cover up their efforts!

Morrigann decided it was time to take a dip in the pool! She's excellent at the dead man's float. Wait, she has her robe on.... Perhaps she isn't just floating around. Drowned? You never know with necros. Her skeleton pet does seem to know the secret to walking on water, though. Maybe she accidentally swam into one of his wicked fire blades!

What would a beach party be without some indulgence in spirits? Ale, Gnomish spirits, wine--Morrigann had quite a mix of alcohol. And I think she went overboard. She's fallen face first into the fountain!

I hope you've enjoyed the first edition of Crazy Necro Antics!

If you have any suggestions and silly antics you'd like to see, please post in the comments! It's possible your chosen antic(s) may be used in an upcoming post. All requests will be attributed in the post with a link back to the requester's blog (so include your blog link as well if I don't know it).

NEXT UP: Magic is Reality, Reality is Magic - The Pentacle

FUTURE POSTS: A new post every Wednesday, occasional SFFS Snippets, monthly status updates (the first of every month), a gamer's lexicon (so you know what the gamer in your life is talking about!), classic Voltron plot holes (for fun!), and much more!